It’s Just A Fucking Movie

It’s Just A Fucking Movie

February 23, 2019 0 By Elaine Arias

Okay. I’ve tried to ignore this, but I cannot.

I briefly got into the whole Marvel thing because I thought Sebastian Stan was hot. Then he callously fired his personal assistant and I was like, screw that. So I haven’t watched Avengers: Infinity War partly because of that and partly because the, uh, ending is probably going to be utterly undone and it’s pretty clear they’re trying to be like Game of Thrones and failing miserably.

So, on March 8, 2019, Marvel will drop it’s first female-led movie, Captain Marvel. Now that Chris Evans (douchebag with a Grammerly subscription) and Robert Downey Jr. are likely hanging up their superhero costumes, the Marvel Cinematic Universe (ugh) needs a new face. Mascot…whatever.

That new face will be Carol Danvers, aka Captain Marvel, a character that isn’t even that popular or well-known outside comic fanboy circles.

Now, the Oscars will be tomorrow, and another MCU movie has gotten a couple of nominations: Black Panther. And the only reason that movie got any Oscar nominations is because it’s supposedly the first superhero movie starring black people.

It’s as if Blade doesn’t even exist to these clowns.

So, back when Black Panther was released to theaters, the media was creaming its pants over how “historic” it was. To this day I have not watched that movie because of the insipid “muh history” hype.

We’re seeing the same thing with Captain Marvel. The media is acting as if this is the first ever female superhero movie, when it clearly is not. The media is also acting as if this is the first movie to star a “strong female” and it clearly is not.

Here’s a few movies starring “strong females”:

The Alien franchies

The Underworld franchise

The Terminator franchise

The Resident Evil franchise

Red Sparrow

Atomic Blonde

The Star Wars franchise (particularly the prequel trilogy and original trilogy; fuck the new movies – they are shit)

The Bloodrayne trilogy (Uwe Boll is the worst director on Earth, but yeah, the character Bloodrayne is pretty damn awesome)

The Hunger Games franchise

Ghost in the Shell

Kill Bill (both volumes one and two)

Maleficent

The Tomb Raider films

Sucker Punch

Wonder Woman

Catwoman (lol)

Alita: Battle Angel

I could list more, and this list only covers action films and sci-fi films. There’s a ton of movies featuring strong female leads and strong female supporting characters.

Plus, this movie hits theaters in March, which is Women’s Month or whatever. UGH. My birthday is on the sixteenth, and of course, the whole month will be about wahmen and how they’re sooooo strong and oppressed at the same time. BARF.

Of course, I find it highly amusing that DC managed to get a female-led superhero movie out way before Marvel did. Wonder Woman was also released in March, and was very successful – one of DC’s few MCU-era successes.

The marketing for Wonder Woman wasn’t as obnoxious or overly feminist, but I mean, they did go on about how significant this was, but that’s because Wonder Woman is an iconic character.

Plus, the star of that film, Gal Gadot, didn’t run around calling herself a damn “activist and advocate.”

The star of Captain Marvel, however, has decided that she’s basically the second coming of fucking Gloria Steinem or something. Brie Larson, aka Cheese Larson (who names their kid after cheese???) is currently promoting the film, and of course, she’s spouting the usual SJW bullshit, and of course, it’s turning people off.

The media – the ones that haven’t been fired yet – are absolutely not happy that we’re not all swallowing Marvel and Cheese’s glorious propaganda.

So, one of Cheese’s big complaints is that too many white men review movies, and she made some statement about how she doesn’t need some white man telling her what he thought didn’t work in films like A Wrinkle in Time because that movie wasn’t “made for him.” As if she has any authority to tell someone what they can and can’t watch or review.

It’s not surprising that people took issue with such an arrogant and bigoted statement. So, given that the backlash is starting to have an affect on the movie’s Rotten Tomatoes score (even though it’s still not out yet), Ms. Larson is out “clarifying” her statements.

Shitty blogs like The Mary Sue are, like, totally butthurt that she had to – gasp – clarify her comments! Like, SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO, YOU SEXIST SHITLORDS!!!!!11111oneoneoneone

You might need some chemotherapy after exposing yourself to this cancer:

Brie Larson Shouldn’t Have to Clarify Her Comments About the Captain Marvel Press Tour

Brie Larson can’t blink without Comicsgate making fifty videos about how she hates white men. After Larson made comments about wanting her press tour for Captain Marvel to be more inclusive, trolls began to insult her and her film, claiming she was being racist and sexist against white men.

(Archive link)

So I just have to comment on this piece. But before I do that, let’s go to the source of this issue. She started complaining about the ‘whiteness’ of the journalists on her press tour in an interview for the UK edition of Marie Claire magazine. You can read the article in its entirety below (archive link):

Brie Larson On Superheroes, Success And Her Hollywood Sisterhood

At the 2016 Oscars, a reluctant star was born. So how is Brie Larson doing three years on? As she takes the lead in the Marvel franchise’s most anticipated movie, she talks to Keah Brown about vulnerability, finding inner strength and her plans to diversify the film industry When Brie Larson won an Oscar for the 2015 movie , I jumped for joy as if I knew her.

And here’s the relevant quote, courtesy of Breitbart:

So, I spoke to 
> Dr Stacy Smith at the USC Annenberg Inclusion Initiative, who put together a study to confirm that. Moving forward, I decided to make sure my press days were more inclusive. After speaking with you, the film critic Valerie Complex and a few other women of colour, it sounded like across the board they weren’t getting the same opportunities as others. When I talked to the facilities that weren’t providing it, they all had different excuses.’

Okay, so that isn’t so bad. But, you have to consider that she also said the following:

“I don’t need a 40-year-old white dude to tell me what didn’t work about A Wrinkle in Time,” said Larson. “It wasn’t made for him! I want to know what it meant to women of color, biracial women, to teen women of color.”

Larson clarified: “Am I saying I hate white dudes? No, I am not. What I am saying is if you make a movie that is a love letter to women of color, there is an insanely low chance a woman of color will have a chance to see your movie, and review your movie.”

This quote is what has people so pissed off. You can read the original story at USA Today (archive link).

I don’t know why she’s so obsessed with the racial makeup of the people reviewing her movie. Whether she likes it or not, white people are the majority here in the US, and in other English-speaking movies. She has no authority to dictate who A Wrinkle in Time or any other movie is “made” for. The arrogance of her statement is astounding. It’s no surprise that feminists have no problem with what she said. They’re all authoritarian cunts. That’s why we call them feminazis.

And why do they think it’s still fucking 1955? There’s plenty of non-white movie reviewers. Furthermore, if she wants “diverse” viewpoints, she or anyone else can read reviews on sites like IMDb, The Movie Database, Rotten Tomatoes, etc.

Larson handles it beautifully, but the thing is is that she shouldn’t have to clarify that she isn’t some “man hater.” That was never the point of her original quotes, or other quotes she’s made about diversity in film criticism.

Yes she fucking is a man hater. She literally said she didn’t want to hear from 40-year-old white men about movies like A Wrinkle in Time, and she literally said that those movies weren’t “made” for them. Presumably, Captain Marvel wasn’t “made” for those men either, even though she’s not a producer on the film, nor is she the director, nor did she write the screenplay. All she did was fucking perform in it, and now she’s dictating who this movie is “for”.

It’s like she already knows Captain Marvel is a two hour feminazi rally, and is trying to convince the public and the critics that it isn’t. And she also acts as if these evil white rapists men will all say the exact same thing about her movie.

Larson is using her position of privilege to uplift other women, especially women of color, because she’s an activist and advocate.

She’s a fucking actress! I don’t need this bitch to uplift me, and…God Almighty, I HAAAAAAATE that phrase “women of color”…nobody else needs her to “uplift” them either.

How arrogant anyway, is Brie Larson and the retarded cunt that wrote this swill, acting as if any of us need this plain-faced “activist” and “advocate” to “lift” us up? We aren’t victims. We’re autonomous people who can take care of ourselves, thankyouveryfuckingmuch.

…Captain Marvel seems to have struck a nerve with the toxic fanboys…

This..this makes me want to take a damn sledgehammer to this feminazi’s face. Another thing that irritates the fuck out of me is this notion that the only people criticizing Brie Larson and her SJW cohorts are straight white men.

And that all critics of her two hour feminazi rally are “toxic.”

And what’s hilarious is that this stupid article actually quoted the part that pissed people off, which, since this post is now well over a thousand words long, was this part:

. . . I do not need a 40-year-old white dude to tell me what didn’t work for him about A Wrinkle in Time. It wasn’t made for him.

In case you needed to be reminded. And the Mary Sue shill just glossed over that.

Oh, and a brief note about A Wrinkle in Time – the vast majority of the criticism for that film is the fact that the director and writer stripped the story of all its Christian elements to pander to atheists, New Agers and other pagan weirdoes. Cuz Christianity is icky or something. The novel, A Wrinkle in Time, written by Madeleine L’Engle, is beloved by Christians all over the world for its strong Biblical values and storytelling. It was a vital part of the story, and the writers removed it for the sake of pandering to stupid SJWs that hate Christians.

The fact that they changed the race of the main character was just the icing on the cake. There was a lot wrong with that movie, and it wasn’t just 40-year-old straight white men complaining about it.

But if the Mary Sue bitches acknowledged that, their narrative would fall apart. They have to continue to believe that they’re living in a brutal dystopian patriarchy where women get raped every day by straight white men who all vote Republican and wear MAGA hats.

Nothing in either of her immensely important quotes says “I hate white men and they shouldn’t see movies.”

Wrong. She said that she didn’t want to hear from them (never clarified WHY) and said that certain movies “weren’t made for them.” Oh, so I guess they can go see A Wrinkle in Time or Captain Marvel but aren’t allowed to say anything about it.

However, because Larson is an outspoken activist, her words are misinterpreted by men who want her to fail and to give them a “legitimate” reason to hate her and her film.

Why the fuck is she an outspoken activist? She’s a fucking actress. She plays dress up for a living. Nobody gives a shit about her “activism” – shallow that it is – but dipshits like you, Mary Sue Shill.

Oh, and because we criticize her (since her critics are all men), we want her to faaaaaaaail! No, they’ve just decided that they aren’t interested in seeing her movie. Now who’s misinterpreting other people’s words?

After all, Larson not smiling in the trailers can only get your hate train so far.

Oh, about this. Yes, when the first trailer dropped, people made a lot of hay about her, uh, overall demeanor in it. Now, I get a lot of people telling me to smile, and I hate it. But I’ve seen the trailer. My problem isn’t that she doesn’t smile. My problem is that her performance is awful. She has no charisma. No emotion. She looks like she’s phoning it in. I sat there after the trailer ended and wondered how the fuck it is she got an Oscar for her performance in Room.

Not only that, she’s not even that good-looking – shallow, but true. That could be overlooked if she had turned in a decent performance, but she didn’t. Now, this is all based on the trailer. I haven’t seen the movie. There’s been some early screenings, and all the demented feminazi fangirls that have seen it are claiming that the cat steals the show. That does not bode well for Brie Larson, in my opinion.

Captain Marvel is outpacing early ticket sales for properties on both sides of the Marvel/DC aisle, including Aquaman and Wonder Woman.

I don’t know about that, but I don’t really care. I don’t expect this film to outright bomb, but I don’t expect it to outperform any other film in the Marvel stable. At the end of the day, it’s a Marvel film, and people are gonna want to know more about the superhero that’s gonna save the day in Avengers: Endgame, so of course they’ll go see it.

The trolls, as much as they wish, will most likely not negatively impact the final box office for the film, which has been receiving stellar early reviews.

Oh, look at that. After all that complaining, the early reviews are good. I think it’s a bunch of BS shilling, as most reviewers are still leftists, and this film is an important bit of DNC propaganda, so of course they’re going to praise it.

However, this Mary Sue Shill shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the “trolls” – because, let’s face it…anyone that criticizes a feminist is merely a “troll”, amirite?

But it is important to acknowledge that a lot of what Larson has dealt with is intense sexism because she’s a politically vocal woman and the trolls don’t like that.

No, the criticism she’s getting has nothing to do with sexism. It has everything to do with her, and dipshits like you, acting as if Captain Marvel was something important and game-changing when it really isn’t. It’s just the first female-led superhero Marvel movie. THAT’S IT. Even if I gave a shit about “representation”, I’m already spoiled for choice. Just look at that list above. Plenty of strong female characters, and that’s just movies. I didn’t list any TV shows (except, perhaps, Ghost in the Shell).

So, to Brie Larson and her buddies: calm the fuck down. It’s just a movie. You aren’t a hero or revolutionary for starring in a fucking superhero movie. Get over yourselves already.